a day to myself

today has been a perfect day off. filled with nothing to do but relax and enjoy some time alone...or rather time with lucy. we laid in bed til almost 10, then i took her on a walk down to the lake. she was still pretty tired from her trip to the dog park yesterday with chant, so she's been sleeping for the rest of the day. went to subway for lunch, it was delicious as usual. got some gas, then opted not to wash my car because it's been rather gray lately. don't want to risk a clean car vs. the rain. 

i was thinking on my walk earlier that in may, i'll be 24 years old. sounds so old, and so young all at the same time. i remember being in junior high and thinking how cool it would be to be in high school. then in high school how cool it would be to be married and out on your own. now that i'm there, i don't know what to expect. its like life has strict guidelines up until mid 20's...then its every man for himself. scary, but exhilarating. we still toy with home-owning, kids, careers, etc. its all so much to think about, but in such a good way. i love the life i have. i love that the things i have were well worked for. i don't take anything for granted anymore. there comes a point in everyones life where they have to start fending for themselves. once this happens, the sweet becomes sweeter. sure i'd love to have someone buy me a new car or a closet full of new clothes...but at the end of the day, those aren't my things. though the good things we have are not as many as we desire, they are reflections of hard work and love and a reminder of who we are. maybe i've been watching too much hgtv...i don't know...

i also decided last night that i will try, i mean really try to give up cokes for a while. don't get me wrong...i love a tasty coke more than your average guy. they are just so horrible for you. and the problem how easily accessible they are. everywhere you go, its included with your meal. or in line at the grocery store. or at the machine at work. ugh. so for now, i will try to turn a blind eye and focus on being that much healthier. 

work. house. music.

today and tomorrow i have to close at work. its really not going to be all that fun, really...i promise. hopefully we will have a stronger night business both days. i'm actually relying on it. its getting to the point where we have (had) such a solid team that its like we were making too much money. so they hired more. and more. and more. now, we are completely over-staffed and well under-paid. its such a problem now and i don't know where to start. it seems the higher up in the company i could take this issue to, is where it is all beginning. hopefully it will all pan out, it usually does.

been making music again. this time, its good. really good. better than anything i've done before. its my dream that i can eventually get the people that want this as much as i do to join forces and make this a reality. it could happen. anything can happen. 

chant and i have been toying with the idea of being homeowners. its such a scary realization when you understand that you are at the doorstep of that level. its time though. we need a yard. and an extra room. solid walls. no one living above/below/around us. it would be so nice...

here is a place we found thats not too far from a possibility. it looks like the "full house" house:

rock and roll

so i have been bartering with a fellow on the craigslist about guitars. i think i'm going to straight up trade my telecaster for this:



granted, it is an epiphone, but i've played on one before and i love it. not to mention if its this natural finish...that rules.

made a new jam that i sent to brad. i hope he can tweak it to where its decent enough to throw down on a myspace for public listening. been thinking of a "band name"...probably harder than naming a child. the best one i've thought of, probably ever...'jump start my machine heart'. i figure if you're going to do it, do it right. sounds cool. kids will remember it. you will love it. goodnight for now, i'll be back soon.

dog park and dentist

its been a perfect day. the temperature is 65, not a cloud in the sky. took lucy to the dog park...its her favorite place in the world. when we first got her, she was terrified of the lake water. now, i toss the ball way out in the middle of the water, and she dives in after it. so nice to enjoy the outdoors. 

chant had to go to the dentist last month, and while she was there, she asked when my last visit was. to all of our amazement, its been roughly 5 years. so, she went ahead and scheduled me for today. i don't mind going, especially because the dentist is my uncle. just a bummer. its always in the back of your mind that somethings going to go wrong...we shall see. 

watched lost. its amazing to me that such a ridiculous story line can be so well played out. i mean, if you are a fan and have watched all episodes...you have to admit its a bit unfathomable. still, supremely entertaining. i can't wait to see how it all ties in at the end. at this point, i can't get my head around the time or the place or who's meeting who in what year. still great though. i'm sure it'll all make sense by the end of it. always seems to. 

i guess i will go ahead and shower today, though its a day off. can't go into the dentist smelling like the dog park. go enjoy this day.

a day of music

i've been off today, spending the majority of my time online. been creepin the facebook. been readin blogs. been findin old music i desperately needed. 

its intriguing that simple things like old songs you used to listen to constantly can bring you right back to that same place. i remember relentlessly teaching myself on guitar the entire ataris' record "blue skies, broken hearts, next 12 exits". just found it online...went ahead and downloaded. for that particular time, this record was great. i'm still impressed with the song writing, the mixing, and all the catchy guitar riffs. god i love this record. really really really makes me happy. others for this time of my life include the starting line and the blink-182 record. good times.

chant wanted me to find her the lily allen record. just did, and i have to admit...its pretty incredible. she definitely has her own style, one i normally wouldn't give any attention to. but something about it triggered my curiosity, now i'm listening to it in its entirety. 

i tried to write some music today. its frustrating that i can stand at work all day and write the best song to date in my head, but then when i'm off work and actually trying...fail miserably. i know it's in me. i know that in some form, its a part of my life. it always has been. i've never wanted anything like i've wanted music. some people are put here to heal. some to govern. some to protect. some to entertain. some to inspire. i'd love to end up on the other side of the norm, and actually appreciate and adore my job. hopefully one day all my cards will align and it'll happen. i don't even care if i play my own music, produce it, record it, promote it...as long as its there i'll enjoy. until next time...

through the eyes of a dreamer

its funny how things come and go. fads. i remember when i was little, how important some of the most insignificant things were to me: pogs. goosebumps. ninja turtles. big wheels. TGIF shows. pizza. light up shoes.

then we got a little older: mossimo. jnco. yoyo's. doc martin. taking the bus to school. xanga. giant cell phones to  tiny cell phones. curfew. 

now the current: blogging. shopping. decorating. pop culture. giant cell phones again. tight pants. being worldly. going green. computer music. 

i find myself thinking a lot about the past, present and future. about time. about space. about so many things that our tiny little brains cannot compute. i'd love to get some answers. i'd love to capture the first picture of a 'monster'. yeah i watch the shows like monsterquest and ghost hunters...but they all leave you with the same unsatisfied feeling of unknown. i'd love to meet an alien, ask them why the hell it took them so long to find me. it just doesn't make sense why we are all here...living the same life day to day to day. living with our fads. living with our humor, lies, love, dreams. what's it all for? when does it all end? what really happens when we die? are all our long lost loved ones waiting for us on the other side, or do we lay in the ground until our bones disintegrate?

i guess this next story kind of relates to this post...if not, i don't care. its coming anyway.

at work the other day, my co-worker had a young man ask for his assistance in finding some denim. he was all sweaty and shaky (on some sort of something), and it was clear he didn't really get what was going on at that point in time. needless to say, after pacing the department empty handed, he ran off and bought nothing. a few days later, he was back. quiet this time, and if on anything...not the same thing as before. this time, he did purchase some clothes from the co-worker. at the end of the transaction, he asked him "do you believe in aliens?" my co-worker handed him his newly purchased garments and replied "i don't know what you're talking about." the dazed fellow left again. finally, a few days later...he's back. well dressed. clean look. fresh. buys several more garments and takes off, without the weird questions or shaking. either the aliens got to him or he just quit using drugs. either way, he sure did provide a great laugh for a few days. 

shades of grey

its hard to stay positive when the weather that surrounds you is so dark. its almost noon, and its as grey outside now as it was at 7. those who willingly choose to live in this seattle type environment, i don't see how you do it. the wet streets. the cold wind. i'm ready for a change. 

i close tonight, which is always such a bittersweet shift. great for making money (usually), but bad for the social life. work is becoming such a burden to me lately. i've been at the same place in the same position for about 2 1/2 years now. this is by far the longest job i've held, and i can honestly say its done me well. but lately, it seems to be more of a 'stuck' feeling. i need to change it up. i'm still waiting on the possible promotion, but no word yet. fingers are definitely crossed though. 

i suppose i will commence with the daily routine now. brush teeth. shower. dry hair. straighten hair. iron clothes. put lucy in cage. work. break. work. dinner with my love. sleep. life.

integrity

it seems the world today is slowly spiraling down to the worst level of integrity its ever been. its everywhere. we watch COPS on a regular basis, and each episode becomes more and more jaded. the shock value is leaving. it seems that we (people) have lost our ability to be honest and true. don't think i'm calling myself a beacon of righteousness, but i still can see the defined line of right and wrong...thus leading me into my vent of the dent:

so a few weeks ago, i go to get into my car, and notice a horrific sight. there's a good sized dent in my trunk region. at first, i shout a few swears and blow it off as an accident that someone didn't want to own up to, and left it at that. unsatisfied, the wheels in my brain start spinning, leading me down paths of possibilities. after a second, closer investigation, i realize there are no scratches to the paint whatsoever in or around the dent. this makes it hard to believe that another car (made of metal) could leave such a precise mark without leaving a trace of direction. the only other option that makes sense is someone kicking it. funny that when i showed my mom the dent, the first thing she says it "it looks like someone kicked it." i agree. and after i held my flip flop to the mark, i see even more clearly now that it fits the perfect size 12 shoe. funny, i know several people who wear that same size...but few that dislike me so much to cause such a problem.

after talking to anyone who will listen, no one will own up to the crime, or even point me in the right direction. its just like on COPS; nobody knows a thing until the officer is slamming that mullet cut alcoholic on the ground. i would hope that i've been a good enough friend that if this were true, that someone did in fact kick it, that i could be filled in on the truth. so far, no one has stepped up to the plate. 

so its my desperate cry for us all, please, be a better person. do what's right, even if it sucks. leave a note. own your responsibility. let yourself be free of guilt. not just in this case, but in our everyday life. if we all tried just a little bit harder to be good...think of what the world could become. 

fingers crossed

today i may or may not find out if i get promoted at work. i wont say much about the "hopeful" position or its location...but know that its a possibility. it could be a serious job, with a serious paycheck. how nice it would be to be able to pay bills up front, even early...with several hundred left to spend how i please. life would be even better. so yeah...fingers crossed today on that.

the snot has nearly gone away. we are still a clear color, but not running much at all at this point. i survived. it was pretty nice to have 3 days off in a row too. 

though i had to attend a funeral yesterday, the day was pretty pleasant. its always great to see familiar faces. after the ceremony the family all went to eat lunch at this little bistro place. family never seemed so important as it does to me now. everyone is always wanting to know how we are and what we are up to; its nice to feel needed. after lunch, we came home and lounged with our dog lucy til about 3, hit up the mall, then cuba libre with lu and beth. always a great time.

so far, i'm finding this blog is more of a personal diary. having an outlet for thoughts is a great way to reflect on the things that matter to you the most. so far, so good.

immune systems

so yesterday was one of the i think 3 times in my life i've ever called out of work. the day before, i was having some terrible allergies that led to an intense congestion. yesterday the filth i was blowing from my nose went from clear to green...but today we are back to clear. must mean i'm healing. 

my younger sister's birthday party was today. bowling is always a pretty good time. i'm a whole lot worse in real life than on the wii, but still fun none the less. 

my grandmother passed away friday, so tonight we go to the "viewing" and tomorrow morning is the funeral. it blows my mind to think that i'm almost 24, and feel pretty well rounded...but then you see someone in their 80's and realize that in all truth, you are just an infant. just a thought.

not much more to say on this one...i still may have time to sneak in a quick nap or watch some tv before we leave tonight. 

goodbye myspace, hello blogspot

its been a long time coming now...i think its safe to say that the once solid, never-ending fun of myspace did just that; the fun ended. i think i'll keep a facebook for a while longer. something about it isn't quite as stale as myspace. 

this will be the new home for my thoughts, questions, theories, interesting things i stumble across during my vast internet journeys, stories (true or false), etc. should be fun, i've wanted to start one of these for a while. 

i'll keep post 1 short and sweet. let us begin a new means of entertaining communication together.